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Its Raining Wiffle Balls – Offense Take Highlight Rail of Second Series
by helio del hulio on 2007-6-15

By: Hulio del Helio, Journalist Extraordinare, The Zeta Tribune


It seemed as though Sam Malone cut a deal with the Wiffle Ball Gods for the June 12, 2007 series at Rutland Yards. There was a definite force field protecting the ball field from the ominous, pitch black nimbus clouds and monstrous claps of thunder that reeked havoc all over the Central Massachusetts area. Yet it was rainless business as usual in RWL land, which included the return of two more World Series stars: Gregg Frantz and Tim Dunn. Offense dominated the series.

Game One - There were fully loaded teams armed to play what would be a four game set. The first match-up saw the return of Tim Dunn to the mound, still bitter over losing his Cy Young title to Keith Torrey in 2006. “Yeah, I’m gonna try to get this season off on the right foot this year. Last year, I ended it on my left foot and it just didn’t feel right. I hired a pitching coach on the off-season and I can’t wait to show off my new skills.” Well, such a task would be tough facing off against the always dangerous Richard Nartawt. Dunn had the red hot Mike Beland and WWL MVP Gregg Frantz to back him. On the opposite side, defensive mastermind Greg Childs and two-time League MVP Bryan Dunn backed Rick.

Mr. Nartawt got off to a bad start after giving up a two run blast in the first to Gregg Frantz and didn’t look back. All offensive cylinders were working full blast for Beland, Dunn and Frantz as they poured on six more runs for a total of eight against Rick. Tim Dunn on the other hand had his curve, slider, and screw ball working for him as he gave up just a solo homer run to his cousin, Bryan, for a final of 8-1.

“My experience in the WWL helped me both on the field and in PR” said Frantz after the game. It was well known Gregg would donate “about three-fiddy” for every homerun he hit during the WWL’s 2006 season to various charities committed to making “the luck of the Irish” luckier than get drafting the #5 pick in the NBA lottery. Will Game Two hold any excitement for the sold-out crowd?

Game Two - If offense is your cup of tea, Game Two of the June 11th series was the Boston Tea Party. The Dunn cousins and Mike Beland were teamed up to face Frantz, Childs and Nartawt with a pitching dual between Frantz and Beland. Mike, a knuckler at heart, has tried to escape the knuckleball and work on other aspects of his arsenal on the off season. “It’s gotten to the point where I trained my dog to fetch my practice pitches to me at home” says Beland. “This saved my leg strength and allowed me more throws at the clinic. You’ll see the result when I walk to the mound (wink).”

Michael kept true to his prediction and had a shut out going after the first three innings. This would be all he needed as the offense produced fifteen runs in the same three innings against Gregg Frantz. It was only the second Mercy Rule ever applied the RWL. The first was on the shoulders of Tim Dunn who gave up twelve runs in two innings on August 25, 2004 and almost ruined his shoe-in status of Cy Young Award winner.

Sam Malone called the game after witnessing “a look on Frantz’s face that told me there was a tick in Gregg that is close to being set off, putting every soul in the stadium in danger of bodily harm.” Fine commissioning Mr. Malone. The 15-0 score would signify the end of lopsidedness in the series, Game Three would have fans at the edge of their seats.

Game Three – High School friends became RWL foes as Bryan Dunn took the mound against the always difficult left-hander Greg Childs. Bryan would have the benefit of Nartawt and Frantz, and Childs had Beland and Tim Dunn behind him. Who will win such a tense battle?

Fist of all, I have a confession. This game was not the “on the edge of your seat” experience I first reported. I said it for dramatic emphasis. Childs got off to a stellar start. He didn’t allow one run through three innings. The same could not be said for our two-time MVP. He ran into the force they call B-E-L-A-N-D. This 2007 offensive machine (who will have a record high 17 homeruns after only 6 games) was the man who put the runs on the board. Childs and Dunn provided the ducks on the pond. They took a 4-0 lead before the Nartawt /Dunn /Frantz staged their come back. Bryan Dunn led the charge with a pair of dingers and three RBI’s. But his opposition proved to be too much as Beland put the nail in the coffin with a solo shot to deep center to make a 5-3 lead the final. “It’s a disappointment” said an angry Rick Nartawt. “The kid (Beland) wears Hanna Barbara Superhero tee shirts, but plays like Bonds w/ twice the juice.”

Game Four - Greg Frantz’s trouble on the mound continued as he faced off against the 1-0 Tim Dunn. Not only having to face Dunn, who batted .522 in the four game series, he also faced cousin Bryan and Greg Childs.

Tim Dunn was looking good again on the mound, only giving up a two run shot to Beland in the bottom of the second. It would tie the game up after Frantz gave up lead off home run to Tim Dunn and walked Greg Childs with the bases loaded. The difference came from a two RBI double from Bryan Dunn that gave Tim his second victory on the mound in this young season.

The ominous weather refrained anyone from give post-game assessments, but this top-notch journalist will have them for you before our next series starts here at Rutland Yards on June 18, 2007, 6:00 P.M. Until then, its Helio del Hulio signing off.

Copyright 2007

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